Pete's Response Sheet Rants |
Selected lowlights from recent response sheets... |
| Theory of a Deadman: Invisible |
| It's Attack of the Clones. About 10 years ago, some record company nicked some cells from Eddie Vedder, bunged the resulting clones into an accelerated Grunge Training Program and now their evil plot is being unleashed upon the world. Creed, Nickelback, The Calling, Staind, Puddle of Mudd, Theory of a Deadman - is there no end to them? And why do they all have to sing like constipated turkeys? |
| InMe: UnderDose |
| Sounds like a punked-up Nickelback. This is at least better than sounding like an un-punked-up Nickelback... |
| Oasis: The Hindu Times |
| They're back and they're still shit. This sounds like them trying to come over all "late Beatles" whilst in fact sounding like Reef impersonating Kula Shaker. Hopefully now that the Strokes/Hives/etc have taken over they'll be consigned to the dustbin of music history. In which case the only thing I'll miss is slagging them off on response sheets... |
| Five Pointe O: Untitled |
| Yet another band who might be OK if they sacked the prat going "Huurgh" in the background. (Oh, it's the same bloke is it? And he's only 18? "I Was A Teenage Huuurgher"...? I blame all those school playground Huurghing contests - y'know, "You can't be in our gang unless you can Huurgh like Slipknot! My Huurghings better than your Huurghing! You're not a real band unless you Huurgh!"...) |
| 36 Crazyfists: Bitterness The Star |
| Argh! Once again a potentially decent record is spoilt by the evils of Huurghing! Just as you're thinking "actually, this is quite good..." the singing suddenly stops ands it all goes Huurgh-shaped. Is there some sort of contract where they have to include a Huurghing Quotient with all Nu-Metal albums? We need a League Against Cruel Huurghing to defend poor helpless songs from being ruined by gratuitous Huurghing. Keep Huurghing where it belongs - in Death Metal albums and well away from anything with a semblance of a tune. |
| Electric Wizard: Let us Prey |
| I don't take nearly enough drugs to appreciate this. |
| Archive Slaggings: |
| Shed Seven: Let It Ride |
| Here's a swift word association game for Shed Seven: Grey. Bland. Average. Indie. Bollocks. This album is one of the dullest I've heard for ages: it's not even irritating, despite the complete lack of decent tunes and Rick Witter's embarassing attempts at singing. |
| Then again, I haven't actually listened to the last Bluetones LP... |
| Thought for the day: Shed Seven sell records. How? Why? |
| Lo-Fidelity Allstars: Vision Incision |
| The Lo-Fi Upstarts are The Future According To NME. So much so that tney rip off "Bela Lugosi's Dead " and "Enola Gay" whilst some bloke mutters something over the top & the song quietly goes nowhere. |
| Laugh? |
| I nearly yawned... |
| Cornershop: Sleep on the Left Side |
| Sounds like Brimful of Asha on mogadon. |
| Altogether now: "Sleep on the asha on the 45 zzzzzz *thud*" |
| Ocean Bastard Colour Scene: Hundred Mile High City |
| AAARRRGGGHHH!!! NOOO!!!! Not content with making me endure this once, they've sent it to me AGAIN!!! |
| [distant sounds of Pete manically smashing CD into very small fragments with very big hammer] |
| Pitchshifter: Genius |
| This sounds not unlike the ungodly racket my flatmates are making on perilously outdated low-tech Amigas and assorted kitchenware. Except my flatmates actually have some very small iota of talent. |
| Redwood: Anything goes |
| The promotional blurb for this says "received stunning reviews- 4/5 in Kerrang! and 9/10 in Metal Hammer". Kerrang!? Metal Hammer? They might as well say "You're really, really going to hate this." |
| And of course, I do -the lead singer sounds like Eddie Vedder with a bad case of constipation and the rest of the band sound like Pearl Jam on a bad day. |
| And I f**king hate Pearl Jam. |
| Ballroom: Bionic |
| I like Ballroom. Even if half their fans appear to be complete retards. |
| Levellers: Too Real |
| Ahahaha! The Levellers go baggy! Only a decade too late- does this mean we can look forward to the Levellers Techno Experience sometime in 2020? |
| Or is this another fucking indie fucking remix? |
| Ocean Bastard Colour Scene: Beautiful Thing |
| I hate Ocean Colour Scene. |
| The kids hate Ocean Colour Scene. |
| Hurrah! |
| Do I need to add that this is complete retro bollocks shite? |
| Mover: Tricolore |
| It's on the Bluetones label, and it sounds like the Bluetones only... |
| [awed silence] |
| Duller. |
| How the fuck did they manage that? |